Naan Sense

Maybe it’s the weather; maybe the economic climate; but despite harbingers of spring (sightings of grass beneath dirty snow), I am feeling pretty low. Usually as energetic as  lively bread dough, today I feel as deflated as pizza dough without yeast.

It didn’t help when stopping by a funky cafe for a moccacino and deciding to use the loo, a sign above it said: Warning! Do not give up hope. Was that with regard to concerns alimentary, economic or  general?

The Man from Hope told  President Obama the same thing the sign told me. Hearing bad news from the President is a real downer so it’s important to show hope and optimism even if, like a cold yeast dough, it’s hard to see signs of life in the economy.

Isn’t that what Mission Accomplished was all about? That kind of wishful thinking along with “the economy is fundamentally sound” led us to a staggering $1.2 trillion in debt (and growing faster than I can edit this blog).

Frankly, I’d rather know just how bad things really are, so that I won’t worry that they will get any worse. The problem is, no one, really knows how bad things are or when they will improve.

After President Obama’s forceful opening in his speech two night’s ago,  “The United States of America will emerge stronger than before,” he proceeded to outline the areas that needed help, and that no doubt will receive help, starting with the banks because “helping banks is helping people”.

Listening to the litany of jobs, auto industry, health care, education, energy and the environment that require assistance was breathtaking and nerve wracking.  (Is there any part of America that doesn’t need help? Yes, apparently McDonald’s is doing quite well, after all fries are feel good food! )

And how quickly we’ve come to this. Imagine a year ago.

There were murmurs of recession, but from doomsayers. The notorious fluttering butterfly wing twitched  in some far-off bank office, disturbing the universe. A tsunami of debt now threatens to wash away the economic landscape we once knew. What will be left and where will we be a year from now?

And that’s what bothers me the most about Obama’s speech. There is a helluva lot of bad news couched in a typically American can-do framework. Kind of like the old westerns with a lot of the sherrif’s deputies fanning out of town in hot pursuit of the bad guys, hoping that one of them will find them…and they always do, only not before some blood has been shed, some lives lost.

But hope springs eternal and there actually is another certainty beyond death and taxes and more bubbles: even with global warming, winter will eventually give way to spring.

Sure, we will rise out of this economic disaster eventually. Like a sulky dough which rises briskly when exposed to sunshine, the economy too will one day revive. Only let’s hope that when it does, we’ve taken some pointers from bread bakers: the right balance of ingredients, respect for environmental conditions,  judicious handling of our product, and patience.  Only in this way can the hope of raw materials turn into the certainty of reality.

Quick & Easy Naan Flat Bread

Makes 4 flat breads

Most yeast doughs are like an economy in crisis: you never know exactly how much stimulus in the form of water you will need. Whole wheat flour  and atmospheric humidity can affect how much liquid is needed to achieve the right consistency. Flour takes its time absorbing  the water so you may find that even after the dough is kneaded, it’s still a bit stiff. Add water tablespoon by tablespoon, kneading it in until the dough is lightly tacky.

250g all-purpose flour

250g whole wheat flour, preferably stone ground

2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp instant yeast

1 1/3 cups  yogurt

4-5 TBsp water

melted butter

1. Mix all the ingredients into a smooth dough.
2. Knead for about 5-8 minutes. The dough will be tacky but shouldn’t be sticky.
3. Place in an oiled bowl, cover and let rise for 1 hour. Fold the dough in on itself from the outside to the center giving it a few turns.
4. Cover and refrigerate overnight.
5. 1 hour before using, remove from fridge and divide into 4 rounds. Cover with plastic.
6. Lightly flour your work surface. Press the rounds into flat breads about 9″ in diameter. It’s okay for them to show finger marks. They won’t be smooth. This will give you great bubbles.
   
7. Heat a ridged grill pan or cast iron frying pan (at least 9″ in diameter) and brush with a little oil.
8. Gently lift one round and using the palm of your hand to center it, lay it on the hot griddle.
9. Grill for about 3 minutes on one side or until the top side is pocked with bubbles and the underside has dark grill marks.
   
10. Flip the dough and cook an additional minute or two.
    
11. Remove and place in a warm (250F) oven covered with a lightly dampened towel as you make the last three.
12. Brush lightly with melted butter, sprinkle with a topping: cheese, sesame seeds, smoked salt.
    

Up and Away Winter Soup

Former conservative Republican senator Phil Graham opined that America is a “country of whiners”.  As much as I hate to, I agree with him.

While one can perhaps understand why it’s difficult to give up driving even though we know it’s bad for the environment,  it is incomprehensible that people baulk at giving up plastic bags and complain bitterly about being charged for them.

Yesterday’s  New York Times discussed how   “green” cities like Seattle are finding it difficult to implement  programs designed to reduce the number of plastic bags entering the environment by charging for them.

A city official  is quoted as saying “You have to be really tone-deaf to what’s going on to think that the economic climate is not going to affect people.”

You also have to be blind not to see what plastic bags do to our environment and dumb if you don’t think there are  more than enough reusable  alternatives that will have less impact on the environment.

I ask you: how difficult is it to give up plastic bags in your life? As difficult as dieting? As difficult as not spending money? I doubt it.

Whole Foods Market went cold turkey with plastic bags: one day it offered them, the next, albeit with 3 months warning, it did not. But instead of punishing customers by charging them for plastic bags, they were instead rewarded with a  refund for each recycled bag they used to carry home their groceries.

What is more motivating, a reward or a penalty?  ADI,  a company that coaches managers in how to bring out the best in people,  believes that positive reinforcement is the most efficient form of feedback when it comes to changing behavior.

But people are funny animals. We are, above all, creatures of habit and not a little lazy. We cling to bad behavior like leaving lights on in empty rooms or running water while  brushing our teeth. We are addicted to wasteful behaviors and whine when we are held accountable for them by having to pay higher utility bills.

The reward or penalty for the right behavior, to above all change behavior,  has to be pretty stiff to get us to change our ways. Charging  for a plastic bag, as planned by Seattle,  isn’t stiff enough to get people to bring their own bags, the way Whole Foods Market’s refund isn’t enough to remind shoppers to bring the dozens of bags stashed in the trunks of their cars.

This is why Whole Foods Market went a step further: through its One Dime at a Time program, it offers customers the option of taking the refund or donating it to a local charity. When  cashiers ask their preference, more than half give to charity.  These customers  can choose to give away their money, whereas  Seattle shoppers are being asked to give it up. Only a preposition stands in the way of changing behavior and improving the environment.

Let’s remember the difference between a necessity and a luxury: plastic bags are neither necessary to shop nor to live nor to maintain our quality of life. They are nothing more than a convenience and a costly one at that. So let’s stop giving former conservative congressmen reasons to be right and do the right thing instead.

Buy an inexpensive net bag and keep it stuffed in your coat pocket when you go shopping for this filling, environmentally-friendly winter soup.

Up and Away Winter Soup

Serves 4

1 head cauliflower, cut into flowerets

1 red pepper, cut into strips and seeded

1 onion, peeled, cut into quarters, root end removed

1 peeled potato cut into rough cubes

1 grated carrot, cut into 1″ slices

3 tomatoes, sliced horizontally, and seeds removed

2 Tbsp olive oil

1 tsp smoked paprika

2-3 tsp any Indian curry paste, according to your taste

4-5 cups chicken stock

salt to taste

plain yogurt, mango chutney and coriander for garnish

1. Preheat oven to 400F.
2. Place the vegetables in a roasting pan and drizzle with oil.   Sprinkle with paprika. Toss to coat.
3. Roast for 30 minutes, tossing occasionally.
4. Remove from oven and place vegetables in large kettle.
   
5. Add chicken stock and curry paste.
6. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover, and simmer for an additional 15 minutes.
7. Puree in a food processor for about 5 minutes or until smooth. Thin with additional chicken stock if necessary.
8. Drizzle with yogurt, a dollop of chutney, and sprinkle freshly chopped coriander on top.
   

Rich Man, Poor Man Polenta

Rich Man, Poor Man Polenta

F. Scott Fitzgerald said “the rich are different from you and me.” But are they really?

We are told  that the rich are spending their money differently due to the BMD (Big Melt Down). They are being more discreet. Wearing less obviously expensive clothing, taking mass transit. In fact, the rich supposedly don’t like to flaunt their excesses any more because it’s not socially acceptable.  One woman is quoted saying she disguised a $1000 Gucci handbag as a gift so that her family wouldn’t get on her case about spending so much money on a purse.  Hmm. I guess lying about what your buying qualifies as spending your money differently.

In any case, it’s also implied that to live on $500,000 is difficult suggesting the reader should supply a  measure of empathy…let’s see, a measure in this case would be what, a pinch? a quarter teaspoon?

Furthermore, the press seems to suggest that  people-invariably those in  banking – who saddled themselves with expensive overhead because that’s what’s you do in those circles,  are more pitiable  than the poor shnooks who signed on to mortgages they could neither understand nor afford. I guess we’re supposed to have pity directly proportional to how much money someone loses, not how  much they don’t have to begin with.

It must be so hard, they imply, to give up a luxurious lifestyle, whereas if you never had it in the first place, well, what’s to give up? So you move out of your too large, barely furnished, spanking new house in a recently developed burb and slink back into a studio apartment in a crappy neighborhood, saddled with the prospect of going bankrupt. You haven’t really lost that much, have you? After all, you only lived beyond your means for about 5 years, whereas the super rich have lived beyond their means for what? forever?

Common wisdom in the form of the evening news would have us believe that people who signed onto mortgages with terms they didn’t understand, were ignorant, stupid, or both and should have known better, been more responsible.  And it is not so subtly implied deserved what they got.

Yea, as if all those Wall Street wheelers and dealers really understood what they were selling. Did Iceland know what it was buying? Could anyone explain how  Madoff made his billions? Credit Default Swaps? Can anyone tell us where the TARP money went? Even Alan Greenspan admitted to not understanding what was happening and he’s supposed to be brilliant.

The fact is, everyone was duped from the top down. The rich and poor were chasing the same American dream, except that the rich should know better. They tend to be better educated, savvy in the ways of leveraging themselves, and have assets they can sell to cover their debts, unlike the poor who had only the (highly leveraged) roofs overs their heads.

Were the rich misled like the not-rich into assuming huge amounts of debt to support a lifestyle that they too thought was theirs by right? I don’t think so. They took on debt willingly, gluttonously, as a way to advertise and promote their success, their right riches.

They led all of us to believe that endless buying and selling were what kept the endlessly inflatable economy afloat. What’s more, everyone could be rich!

The not-rich couldn’t believe their good luck at getting something they thought was out of their reach. But even the rich were duped by the likes of Bernie Madoff who exemplified the old axim “if it’s too good to be true, it probably is.” (I like the “probably” as if there exists a chance that one day someone will find something that isn’t too good to be true: like chicken schmaltz that’s not fattening.)

Shame on all of us for thinking that there exists a bubble that couldn’t, wouldn’t burst. If there is one more certainty beyond death and taxes it’s that nothing lasts forever; you just may not live long enough to see it (whatever “it” may be) expand, contract, wither and die or be replaced by something else.

The rich are not different, they just have more money to lose than the rest of us.

Rich Man, Poor Man Polenta

Serves 4

Pair polenta with a luxurious tomato sauce and two cheeses and you have a Wall Street lunch or a Kensington High Street side dish. Polenta may originated with the masses but it’s now the darling of the upper classes!

1 cup cornmeal

4 cups chicken stock or water

1 1/2 cups rich, thick tomato sauce

1/2 tsp hot pepper flakes

1/4 cup grated ricotta salata

1/4 cup grated mozzarella

1. Generously grease a 10″ oval gratin pan with olive oil.
2. Pour the stock into a large saucepan set on the stove, and whisking constantly pour in the cornmeal.
3. Turn the heat onto medium high and bring the mixture to a boil, whisking constantly.
4. When it is rapidly boiling, turn the heat down to medium-low and stir every 4-5 minutes, being sure to get into the corners of the pan so that the polenta doesn’t stick and burn.
5. Cook, whisking frequently, for another 20 minutes to a half hour until the mixture thickens and gets creamy. If it seems stiff, add 1/4 cup cold water and return to a simmer, still whisking often.
6. The polenta is done when you no longer feel the separate grains on your tongue, but instead has a smooth, thick consistency of softened ice cream.
7. Pour into the prepared dish and chill for 2 hours.
8. Preheat the oven to 350F.
9. Heat the tomato sauce mixed with the hot pepper flakes over medium heat for about 10 minutes.
10. Cut the polenta into squares. This allows the sauce to seep down between the slices.
11. Top evenly with tomato sauce, then sprinkle on the cheeses.
12. Bake for about 20-30 minutes or until the sauce is bubbling and the cheese is golden brown.
13. Can be served hot or room temperature.

Humble Pie

It is a given that nobody likes to pay taxes even though they fund libraries, mass transit, schools, hospitals, and parks to name just a few of the more visible and used  services.

Not even the people who are responsible for writing the tax code, like Tom Daschle. In fact, twice last week I found myself in Never-Never Land conversations with acquaintances who felt that both Daschle and Geithner have no place in the administration given their tax “over sights”. Why Never-Never Land? Because these are two individuals who have some “explainin’ to do” themselves.

One was someone who hadn’t paid his own taxes for, oh, let’s just say a few years and found himself saddled with a heavy burden of interest and back taxes. The other was someone who’s wife is pregnant, on mat leave, is working for cash out of her home while taking government money, and who is incensed that she is being audited, yet again. And they talk about Daschle and Geithner?

It is a given that we expect more from our government officials. After all, they establish the rules that we are all supposed to live by. When they fail to do so, not only do their penalties seem far less severe than when it happens to us, they go on to positions of greater glory after a few humiliating, grovels in front of congressional committees…whose own members probably couldn’t sustain the same level of scrutiny without discovering that they too neglected to count the car, the plane, the dinners, the theatre tickets, the Super Bowl box, as a deemed benefit of some sort. But that’s another story.

There was something touching and painful watching Geither tell his inquisitors that he did his own taxes; that he used Turbotax to generate his 1040 and that he made a big mistake. As smart and as rich as he is, even he could make a really, really stupid mistake.

Imagine the kinds of stupid mistakes the rest of us can make: one year our accountant put a total on the wrong line. We signed the form. Yes, we read it but we hired him to do the math.  The penalty was beyond painful. To the IRS there is no such thing as a “mistake”.

The accountant said “things happen” and took no responsibility. Geithner had only himself to blame, and unlike my two friends, bore public consequence of admitting his error on television .

David Brooks, that Republican-Democrat or Democratic-Republican, I’m not sure which,  said on WNED a few nights ago that to lose Daschle over taxes was a loss to the government greater than the ethical lapse of not paying the taxes. If that isn’t a slippery slope, I don’t know what is.

At least Obama is a man who learns quickly and owned up to having made a mistake by continuing to support Daschle’s nomination. Maybe the president’s example of going on national television to eat humble pie will resonate with my tax-evading friends.

Somehow I doubt it. It’s so much easier to blame the government for your woes than to look within. Bitterness lasts longer on the tongue than sweetness.

Humble Pizza Pie

Makes 2 pies

This is a cheese-less pie. Of course, if you have money leftover after paying your taxes, you can use it to buy the best cheese you can afford, like taleggio which melts beautifully, or imported bufala mozzarella, in which case you might want to substitute fresh basil for the parsley.

Semolina Dough

3 cups Italian 00 flour

1/2 cup semolina flour

1/4 tsp yeast

1 Tbsp olive oil

2 tsp kosher salt

about 1 cup lukewarm water

1/2 cup tomato sauce

1 cup sliced mushrooms, tossed in oil, sauteed until they release their juices

1/2 red onion, sliced thinly, tossed in olive oil

1 cup diced, cooked chicken

chopped fresh parsley

Four hours, but better still, 24 hours before you want to eat, make the crust.

1. Mix the flours, yeast and salt in a bowl.
2. Gradually add the water mixing with a rubber spatula or your hand.
3. Scrape the dough off your hand when it almost comes together in a single ball.
   
4. Cover and let sit for 20 minutes.
5. Remove from the bowl and knead for about 5 minutes or until the dough is silky smooth and a bit tacky. It should stick to your hand for a few seconds before falling when you hold the dough ball in your hand, turn your palm towards the counter and let the dough fall.
6. Lightly oil a plastic bag and place the ball inside. Let it rest and rise for 4 hours or place in the fridge overnight.
7. Remove it from the fridge about two hours before using so it can both warm up and rise even more.
8. Preheat your oven to 450F. Have two pieces of parchment paper at hand the size of your pizza.
   
9. Lightly dust the counter with flour. Divide the dough in half.
10. Use your finger tips to dimple and flatten the dough turning all the while to keep it round. If it starts to resist and shrink back, cover the dough with plastic wrap and let it rest for 10 minutes before resuming. You can also us a rolling pin to roll it but it’s much more satisfying to do it by hand.
11. Place the dough on a piece of parchment paper.
12. Use the back of a soup spoon to spread a thin layer of tomato sauce within about a half inch of the edge of the pie. if you like a bigger crust, leave more room.
13. Sprinkle half cooked mushrooms over the pie.
    
14. Sprinkle half the onions and half the cooked chicken on top of the pie.
15. Repeat with the second pizza.
16. Slide pizza(s) into the oven. Bake for about 15-20 minutes or until the the edges bottom of the pizza is nicely browned.
    
17. Drizzle the top with some spicy olive oil, brush the edges with it or plain olive oil, sprinkle some coarse salt and chopped basil parsly on top.
    
18. Mmm, mmm!
    

Chocolate Stimulus Handouts

Have you, like me, lost count not only of the number of bailouts Congress has doled out since last December, but the amounts? There was the first Bush “initiative” to the banks, then the one to save Fannie & Freddie’s combined butts, then came the auto-makers and then this latest one of, what? $700 billion? Did I miss one somewhere? Now there is talk of another one of 1 trillion? How many zeros is that exactly?

This week’s congressional haggling over the stimulus bill, yet more money desperately needed to get the economy percolating again, was an embarrassment: the Republicans had nothing to contribute except stale sound bites that were about as exciting as chewing gum that’s lost it’s flavor. How many times do we have to hear them slap “earmarks” on anything and everything they don’t like, and “national security” on things they do?

As for the Democrats, with Obama making one bold pronouncement after another, they can’t seem to keep up with his vision. You would think after 8 years of being (mostly) in the minority, they would have picked up some strategy tips from the Republicans, but I guess it’s hard when you’re being told to play nice by the president.

You have to have pity not just on Obama but on poor Congress who must feel like they’ve stumbled into panhandler’s hell. Everyone is crying for something.

I know how they feel. A few nights ago I left work late, hurrying, head down anticipating a freezing cold blast only to be slapped into focus by balmy (relatively speaking, that is)  weather.

Surprised I looked up from the rivulets of slush, and saw a well-dressed young woman standing in front of me, crying. “Can you give me money for a train ticket home?” she whimpered.

This is not the first time I have been asked this. Most of the time, a disheveled  individual who can barely stand up asks for $.50 to take the bus up north, way north making the request less than credible. Or someone sitting outside a Tim Horton’s Donut shop asks for enough change to buy himself breakfast; or someone sitting beneath a blanket in front of Port Authority in New York says nothing, his fetid and filthy condition saying it all.

Usually I give something: a dollar to the guy going north, no doubt to the liquor store;  a crisp apple to the New Yorker, only to have him grimace and shout at me “You think I can eat this? I don’t have any teeth!”;  coffee and a donut to the guy in front of the coffee shop who snarled at me “F!@#&ing C$%^! I asked for money.” You’d think I would have learned my lesson but as long as someone asks, I am inclined to give, just like Congress to big business.

But there was something different about this young woman. First of all it was her attire; secondly she seemed really in distress, and thirdly, she said  “I need to go home. You can call my mother. She will pay you back.” Something like the car companies saying “if you give us the money, we will make those fuel efficient cars we’ve never made before.” Yeah, right.

“Where do you live? I asked. She mentioned a town I had never heard of near a town that I knew.

“How much do you need?”

“$8.10,” she said.

“How much money do you have?” I persisted.

“$.25″ was the reply, tears streaming down her face.

“Why so little?”

“Because I just left my boyfriend and don’t want to go back. I have nothing. I just want to go home. If you call my mom, she will pay you back,” she repeated. It occurred to me to ask for her mother’s number but that would have prolonged the encounter and suggested that I didn’t trust her. I couldn’t do that. Instead, I opened my wallet, gave her two tired five dollar bills and hurried home to dinner. Kind of like Congress signing the latest bailout bill and…heading home to dinner… only with 12 more zeroes.

Now I know how Congress feels: It’s hard to say no these days.  Will the stimulus work? Did she make it home?

Some things we have to wait to find out, some things we’ll never know. What I do know is that on this recipe there is broad consensus: it’s awesome.

Chocolate Stimulus Handout Cookies

Yield: Approximately 12 blobs

2 oz/56g Unsweetened chocolate
5 Tbsp/60g butter
2 1/2 oz/70g bittersweet chocolate
1 Tbsp cocoa
3 eggs
1/4 cup/50g sugar
1/4 cup/55g brown sugar
pinch salt
1 tsp finely ground espresso coffee
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup +1 Tbsp flour
135g/4 1/2 oz bittersweet chocolate chunks
1/2cup/94g cocoa nibs
2.5 oz/70g chopped walnuts

1. Preheat oven to 350.
2. Melt the unsweetened chocolate with the butter and bittersweet chocolate.
3. Add the sugar and mix until smooth. Add the salt and espresso.
4. Add the eggs, and vanilla. Mix until glossy.
5. Add the flour and mix until just incorporated.
6. Add the chunked chocolate, nibs and walnuts.
7. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour.
8. Drop 1/2 cup scoopfuls on a parchment lined baking pan.
9. Bake 10 minutes. Do not over-bake! They will puff and be soft in the center.

10. Cool on the sheet. Remove with a metal spatula.

11. Store in a tightly sealed container at room temperature for about a week.

Limousine Chicken

Many African-Americans never thought they’d live to see the day a black man ascended to the presidency. Most Americans both black and white  never thought they’d hear a president, any president,  own up to making a mistake and taking responsibility for it, not years after the event or after he left office, and certainly not barely three weeks into his tenure.

Yet today, President Obama sat down with Brian Williams on the NBC Nightly News and held himself accountable (“I screwed up” were his exact words) for proceeding with Tom Daschle’s nomination for secretary of Health and Human Services despite his owing $128,000 in back taxes. The president accepted that both he and “his people” had made a mistake.

Well…yea. Anybody in their right mind could see that; and we saw it as soon as    Daschle admitted to tooling  around town in a chauffeur-piloted limo provided by, shall we say, someone with more than just interest in getting Tom to the church, I mean Senate, on time. What was he thinking?

In the interest of public disclosure,  you should know that back in the mid-60s my dad answered a newspaper ad and soon found himself the proud owner of… yes, a  stretch, shiny black, limo (what was he thinking?) complete, with a Neolithic car phone. ( “Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?” yelled into the heavy hand-piece was about all the communication possible back then).

On the (thankfully) rare occasions that my sister and I were taken to school in this undoubtedly comfortable voiture, we insisted on being dropped off blocks away where no one could possibly see us exiting such a humiliating form of transportation.  Unlike Daschle’s wheels however, it vanished about six months later after about as many burglaries and vandalisms. Of course, the phone was the first thing to go….so don’t think I don’t know something about what I’m talking about here.

What is it about Washington, or is it government in general, that makes elected officials (see States of Illinois and Connecticut) feel that they are either above the law or below the radar when it comes, in particular, to paying taxes?

Is it the corridors of power that supply just enough oxygen to develop a tax code that makes the word Byzantine come to mind, but not enough fresh air to enable delicate legislative brains made cognitively lax by too many rubber chicken dinners to think logically, let alone ethically?

And here one has to include the President and “his people”.  Maybe it’s not the air. Maybe it’s the light inside the White House and what all those klieg lights (alluded to by the departing Bush), do to a president’s ability to really see, not visually of course, but as in to understand the implications of one’s actions.

Thankfully, Obama’s youth and relatively short time (compared say, to Tom Daschle) on the campaign circuit, in the corridors of power and in the White House, haven’t (yet) permanently clouded his judgment or blinded him to his ethical commitments.

No doubt he stepped outside the White House today as much to visit a charter school as to get a breath of fresh air and clear his brain.

Definitely Not Rubber Chicken Dinner in a Pot

This is a delicious and easy dinner when you want something elegant enough to serve guests but not at all fussy. Take your time browning the chicken, and the rest is done by the oven.

Serves 4-6

1 whole 4-5# chicken
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 each carrot, onion, celery, shallot diced
1 cup chicken stock
2 sprigs fresh thyme
1 bay leaf
1/2 each sweet potato, turnip, fennel bulb, diced
6 shiitake mushrooms, quartered
1 zucchini, quartered lengthwise, cut into 1” pieces
1/2 cup sweet white wine
juice of 1/2 lemon
fresh parsley

1. Preheat oven to 400F (175C).
2. In an oven-proof casserole with a lid, heat the oil on the stove over high heat.
3. When it shimmers, place the chicken breast side down. Lower the heat to medium and cook until very fragrant and the sizzling has become subdued. Check the colour of the skin: it should be a deep, rich, caramelized brown. If not, return it to the heat until it is. This can take about 10 minutes. Be sure not to burn the skin.
4. Turn the chicken on its side and brown as above. Then the other side and finally the back.
5. When all sides are nicely seared, sprinkle the carrots, onions, celery and shallots over the top. Add the chicken stock and herbs.
6. Put the lid on and place in the oven for about 40 minutes. The broth will be bubbling, the vegetables cooked.
7. Remove the pot from the oven and place the chicken on a carving platter, lightly covered with foil.
8. Return the pot to the stove and add the remaining vegetables and wine. Simmer covered for 10 minutes. Remove the lid and simmer until slightly thickened, another 5-10 minutes. Taste for seasoning. Skim excess fat if necessary.
9. Add the lemon juice and parsley.
10. Carve the chicken at the table. Ladle some sauce onto each plate and top with a piece of chicken.

Gazillionaire Bars

Everyone wants to point fingers (particularly the middle one) at John Thain, once King of Merrill Lynch, now fallen idol of Bank of America, as an example of Wall Street’s insensitivity to events caroming around it. Even President Obama decried not just “shameful” bonuses but unbridled greed at a time when companies could least afford it. Perhaps there are more heinous examples than Thain, but he wins for mindless explanations.

Thain’s list of office purchases came to a staggering $1.2 million dollars at a time when Merrill Lynch had lost $10 billion, even though he claims a year ago things weren’t as bad as they are now. Tell that to the people who have lost their homes. That should make them feel a whole lot better.

We all know about the $89,000 office rug and the $35,000 for a commode  but no one has questioned the $18,000 George IV desk.

Who was George IV, anyway? Ah, the miracles of the internet. In seconds, I learned more about late 18th and early 19th century British history, than an entire semester in high school.

George the IV became King of England  when England was suffering from social upheaval wrought by the Industrial Revolution and economic distress brought on by the Napoleonic Wars. Sound familiar?

He was so “extravagant” and “profligate” that his own father, King George the III described his behavior as “a shameful squandering of public money to gratify the passions of an ill-advised young man.” He even agreed to marry his cousin (it’s a long story involving religion, a prior, secret marriage; enough for a soap opera), if Parliament essentially bailed him him out of his debts. Which it did.

Like Barbara Amiel, wife of incarcerated Canadian press baron (formerly Lord) Conrad Black, who once told Vanity Fair magazine that her “extravagance [knew] no bounds”, Thain’s explanation for the expenditures also knew no bounds: the office of his predecessor, he said in an interview would have been (uh, er)”Difficult for me to use it in the form it was in.”

One can only imagine the “form”:  Wrong colors? wrong drapes? wrong wastebasket? definitely wrong desk! Oh, and the rug? It’s got to go, exclaimed the $800,000 interior decorator, now installed at the White House for the bargain basement price of $100,000.

Well, let’s face it, is he any worse than the the just plain folks who succumbed to the blandishments of mortgage salespeople peddling dreams that turned into nightmares; the people who spent their income as if all of it was disposable, piling credit card debt on top of mortgage debt; the politicians who blew the largest government surplus into unprecedented national and foreign-owned debt?

Most of us are guilty of wanting more than we need, spending more than we had. We’re just lucky that there aren’t tv cameras to document the discreet disposal of handbags the size of army duffels, monogrammed shirts whose cost could feed a family of four for a week, cars big enough to carpool entire classrooms, and apartments the size of Georgian palaces.

Now our guilty pleasures are more likely to be confined to eating at home. So when the mood strikes, and you want to make something easy, fit for a king, that tastes like a gazillion bucks, these bars are your fix. Just don’t eat so many that you end up rotund like King George IV, or apologizing for your excess like John Thain.

Gazillionaires Shortbread

While the shortbread is baking, make the filling. You can make the ganache ahead of time and gently reheat over simmering water before finishing the bars.

9×13 pan

150g all purpose flour

75g whole wheat flour

1/4 tsp salt

70g cold butter

1. Preheat the oven to 350F.
2. Place all the ingredients in the bowl of a food processor and process into fine crumbs, about 5-6 pulses.
3. Pour into the baking pan and press evenly across the bottom and into the corners.
4. Bake for about 25 minutes and until barely browned.
5. Remove from the oven.

“Caramel” and Nut Filling

1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 stick butter

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp almond extract

3/4 tsp kosher salt

1 cup (95g) pecan pieces, toasted

1 cup (135g) toasted almonds, blanched or not, it’s up to you, coarsely chopped

Rich, Rich Ganache

85g whipping cream

255g bittersweet chocolate, chopped into small pieces

56g butter

1. Melt  the chopped chocolate in  a medium sized bowl set in a saute pan with  simmering water.
2. Heat the whipping cream until it just comes to a boil.
3. Pour the boiling cream over the melted chocolate, add the butter, and let sit for about 5 minutes.
4. Stir gently with a rubber spatula, trying not to incorporate any air bubbles into it. The chocolate will be thick and smooth.
5. If not using it immediately, cool, cover with plastic wrap set directly on the surface and chill. Reheat in a pan of simmering water.

Finished Gazillionaire Bars

1. Place the condensed milk, sugar and butter into a small saucepan over low heat.
2. Stir with a rubber spatula until the butter and sugar are melted and the mixture is smooth.
3. Cook for about 10 minutes, stirring from time to time. It burns easily but a little bit of burned bits isn’t a bad thing; they break up and they add a pleasant bitterness to the sweetness of the filling; too many however, and you may have to start all over again. Just be vigilant and stir often.
4. Remove from the heat and add vanilla and almond extracts and salt. Stir to blend.
5. Spread evenly over the baked shortbread.
6. Sprinkle the chopped nuts evenly over the top and press gently into the caramel topping just enough to make sure they stick.
7. Let the bars set for at least 6 hours at room temperature.
8. Make the ganache and pour over the top of the bars. Spread lightly with an offset spatula. Let set. It won’t become firm, but firmer.
9. Remove by running a metal spatula around the edges and lift the entire slab out of the pan using the over-hanging parchment paper.
10. Cut into bars using a chef’s knife run under hot water and wiped clean with every slice.
11. Store in a tightly sealed container either in the fridge or freezer.